Signs of Life Counseling | Why one beat at a time?
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Why one beat at a time?

Why one beat at a time?

All through my life, in good times and in not-so-good times my family always had something to say when forced to deal with situations. Most of the time my dad’s words were the ones that though frustrating at the time proved to be one of the lessons in my life’s learning. I recall several difficult times when discussing them with my dad, he’d say, “It’s going to be ok, take it one day at a time.” And yes, I must admit those words were a bit frustrating at the time because it wasn’t a solution. I learned in my adult life that he was right. Now my dad is a great problem solver and he just didn’t spout out meaningless words, in fact his words were few. He was and is a man of much patience. Fast forward into my life and as life’s situations have come and gone I’ve learned to lean on those words of wisdom. Spending the last 17 years as a part-time & volunteer firefighter and department chaplain I have walked a path of many challenges. Mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I have leaned on those words more often than not just to survive, to get through the night, to get through work the next day and the next worship service at church. Many times I thought I have nearly lost my mind.
I have been at the ER, in the home, on the scene where the end of life happens and hope for that faint beep or tone which would indicate life still exists. Many times it didn’t happen and sometimes it did…it was a sign of life. Now in my mental health career I have seen evidence of this sign in the lives of many kids, adults, soldiers returning from combat but in one instance while working with a Vietnam Vet, I saw firsthand how the sign of life happened for this man. In an instant, a critical moment that was delayed for 35+ years, it happened. He awoke emotionally, mentally and processed an event that changed his life 35 years prior and one he had never come to terms with…until now. This was his sign of life. This might have saved his life. I witness this in teens, kids and adults, marriages and in groups and it has certainly changed my life.

One beat at a time likewise is a thought, a moment seared into my life because of a critical traumatic event when a paramedic asked me to get in a vehicle with a patient and asked me to help this person calm down because if not they would likely bleed out and die on scene. “Slow his heart, keep him calm,” shouted the medic. And though being scared out of my mind, I did what he asked. For a moment as I engaged with the critical patient doing everything I could, it was as if I could hear my own heartbeat matching his, slowing, calming and it was louder than all the action around us. It worked. I realized then like I realize today that every beat of our heart is not only a sign of life but possibly our hope and blessing in life. It is a moment, a tick of a clock. It is a perspective. As I have learned in emergency services, trauma work and mental health, sometimes all we need to focus on is simply one day, one moment or one heartbeat at a time. That may be the very thing that gets us through, that saves our life.

Slow down. Take a nice deep breath. Listen. Can you slow yourself down enough to hear your own heart beating? If so, congratulations. You’re on your way to better stress management.

This is your sign of life.

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